Friday, December 14, 2012

- ABADIKAN 2012 - PART 5


Assalammualaikum dan salam ceria..
Hari ini genaplah 9 bulan arwah nenek pulang ke rahmatullah... Betapa rindunya rasa dengan kepergiaannya. Dari kecil, nenek jaga MG.. Tidur dalam kelambu ngan nenek.. Bangun pagi nenek yang kejut.. Nak mandi pagi sejukkk, nenek jugak yang masakkan air.. so, takderlah berjam mandi pagi semata nak pergi sekolah.. Makan, pakaian semua nenek yang jaga. Dia jaga cucu dia yang sorang ni daripada kudrat dua kaki kuat sehinggalah dia terpaksa guna kerusi roda.. Dah lama nenek sakit Rheumatoid artritis. Kalau nenek bergerak bangun dari kerusi roda ke atas kerusi, boleh dengar geseran tulang.. kelekuk..kelekuk... macam bunyi skeleton dancing.. (^_^)

So, for the time being i'm spending some time kat rumah nenek tengokkan wan as he just came back from mecca last two weeks.. The problem is, I asyik teringatkan nenek I. I could imagined her sitting on the wheelchair like she always do and imagine her calling my name.. Biarpun ada orang lain, me jugak yang dia akan panggil.. I did complain last time sebab my kazen lagi dekat, instead she called me jugak. I don't know, maybe she just dah terbiasa calling my name instead of my kazen kot. And now I plak yang dah terbiasa having her around the house.. Damn I missed her much.. Someone used to say that I should be grateful that I'm still alive after the car accident I had last year.. Truthfully, I wished I never walk out alive. I rather died before her than seeing her dying before my eyes..And after all, I believe she's the only one yang truly loves me walaupun perangai macam setan.

Well, orang kata bagus belajar nursing boleh tolong orang, and you know what, I couldn't do anything when she was dying.. I just tengok SN-SN situe buat CPR.. till the Dr bagitau that she already passed away. I tak tahu nak buat apa, tergamam... first time I lost a family member seumur hidup ni... and it hurts badly... I never stop crying since then.. teringat jer nangis..teringat jer nangis.. camner ni??

Bila difikir balik, kalau mama tak suruh I balik, maybe I tak sempat tengok nenek.. Malam mama call, I was studying for my quiz so I cakap nak balik malam sebab petang ada kuiz, but she insist suruh I balik pagi jugak.. So, I arranged untuk balik pagi, beli tiket and inform my lecturer and tutor sebab that time, I tengah posting kat hospital.. so, leceh sket nak skip praktikal.. I sampai Kedah terus direct pergi hospital, I dapat tengok dia for the last time.. walaupun time tue nenek dah tak sedarkan diri... she's on six type of infusion pump just to keep her stable.. Her blood pressure asyik turun jer.. Saat tue, air mata darah pun takkan mengubah apa-apa.. Dan malam tue jugaklah nenek hembus nafas terakhir.. Seolah-olah she was waiting for me..  Kalau I balik lewat sket.. I just sempat tengok sekujur badan yang dah dikafan ja..

Selama-lama I tension belajar nursing and that one time I'm grateful I budak nursing, I minta kebenaran SN untuk tolong dia buat last office (kafankan mayat kat hospital).. I sedih tapi that's the only way I could spend more time with her..  Dan esoknya, I sempat sampai sebelum staf hospital siap mandikan jenazah and staf tue bagi I timba untuk selesai mandikan jenazah.. Staf tue pun bagi I tolong dia kafankan nenek I.. Weird, time tue I buat tak menitis setitik pun air mata tapi later.. Hanya Allah jer yang tahu .. Staf-staf tue macam faham jer I nak tolong diorang buat semua tue.. 

Bukannya hati nie tak redha dengan ketentuan Allah tapi I dah terbiasa ada nenek.. How can I live happily without her?? 

p/s: tolong sedekahkan al-fatihah yer.. 






2 comments:

ahsfantasy24 said...

Semoga Arwah ditempatkan dalam kalangan
orang-orang yang beriman..


Terbaru: Segmen Tingkatkan Follower,!

Arryana Nasution said...

(^_^) amin

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